Getting a Sponsor
The purpose of a Sponsor is to guide you through all 12 Steps. To find one, attend as many meetings as possible, whether in-person, online or over the phone. Use the MA Meeting Finder to find meetings. If you live within an MA District/Region contact them first about Sponsorship. It’s likely they can refer you to available Sponsors in your area.
Attending meetings consistently helps you get to know other MA members. You may hear from someone who is living a life of recovery that resonates with you. Step out of your comfort zone and ask if they are willing to Sponsor.
It is ideal if a potential Sponsor has been in recovery long enough to have worked all 12 Steps. Seek someone who has personal and recovery attributes that you admire, who is living life happy, joyous and free.
When working the 12 steps we reveal deep personal secrets that can awaken feelings that effect both the Sponsor and Sponsee. So while there are no set rules when selecting a Sponsor, if you feel that you may become romantically attracted to that person it may threaten the recovery of you both.
Temporary Sponsors and Accountability Partners
If you’d like to start the 12 Steps right away but aren’t finding the “perfect” Sponsor, you might consider asking someone to be your Temporary Sponsor. They can help guide you through the first three steps as you get to know each other better. At any time you are free to evaluate if you’d like to find another Sponsor or continue to work the steps with your Temporary Sponsor.
Perhaps you aren’t yet ready to begin the 12 Steps. We then suggest finding accountability partners. These are MA members who aren’t available to sponsor, they may not have gone through all 12 Steps, they may have been sober a little longer or have a similar sobriety time as you. If you’d both like to share contact information and check-in with each other regularly to share about on your recovery.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is a sponsor required?
It is not required; however, working the Steps with a sponsor is an invaluable tool of recovery. A relationship with a sponsor often helps the sponsee develop an ability to trust others and communicate effectively. Having frequent, close contact with another member of the program provides an opportunity to discuss issues in private that one might not be willing to raise in front of the group.
When is the right time to begin working with a sponsor?
Everyone’s recovery process is their own, and there is no specific timeline to follow; no particular length of sobriety is required. It is important to get beyond any fear of asking other people for help. Stepping out of your comfort zone to work with someone else is an important part of recovery. We are not burdening sponsors by sharing our challenges. In fact, it is an honor to be asked to be someone’s sponsor. To get started, you can ask a person to be a temporary sponsor, or interim sponsor, and see how the relationship develops.
How will I know if someone is a good fit to be my sponsor?
There are no specific rules for choosing a sponsor. It is worth considering someone who inspires you and with whom you would like to work the program. In order to find a sponsor, widen your exposure to recovering people by attending as many meetings as possible. A sponsor can be found at in-person, virtual, or phone meetings. Many sponsor/sponsee relationships exist and thrive without ever having met in person. Marijuana Anonymous does not provide sponsors, but we can offer guidance in finding one.
Should a sponsor be of the same gender?
The gender of a sponsor you select to guide you through the Steps is at your discretion. We suggest avoiding sponsorship relationships that may lead to problematic attachments, including romantic or physical relationships, which could detract from your recovery.
How often should I contact my sponsor?
It is up to you and your sponsor to determine how often you communicate. Many sponsors ask newcomers to contact them regularly for the first month or two. If your sponsor is away or can’t be reached, it is suggested you call other members of the program. Having more than one person that you can reach out to regularly is advisable.
How often should I contact my sponsor?
It is up to you and your sponsor to determine how often you communicate. Many sponsors ask newcomers to contact them regularly for the first month or two. If your sponsor is away or can’t be reached, it is suggested you call other members of the program. Having more than one person that you can reach out to regularly is advisable.
Must I do anything a sponsor asks, or agree with whatever they says?
Ultimately your recovery is your responsibility; it is up to you how you apply their suggestions. This peer-support relationship is one of trust and shared experiences. If clarification is needed or disagreements emerge, then discuss them with your sponsor. If you continue to feel the suggestions they make aren’t in alignment with the type of program you want to work, consider finding another sponsor.
What if I want to change sponsor?
There is no long-term commitment required between the sponsor and sponsee. If you feel a different person will better enhance your recovery, then it is suggested to gently let your current sponsor know. This is frequently done in Twelve Step programs, and many long-time members have had several different sponsors.